I imagine the comma fairy as a tiny malevolent little gnome that sprinkles run on sentences into my work.

I also imagine him starting small fires. The little sod.

I’m especially guilty of long sentences when I’m trying to get a point across. The more complex the point, the more commas. When I first started writing I never met a forty word sentence I couldn’t love.

Slowly I’ve come to see the comma fairy as a problem. Admittedly it took a dire threat from an editor to make me take a hard look at my writing style, but the fewer commas I use, the better my writing seems to get.

It bothers me that there are so many commas in that last sentence.

Fortunately killing the comma fairy is easy*. Reading your manuscript out loud will show you exactly where commas are appropriate. It will also show you where and when you need a full stop instead.

As part of an action sequence I wrote this mind bogglingly long sentence in one my early projects:

“Cora weaved under Vadim’s punch, taking the opportunity to slam her palm under his chin as she slid past, then turned behind him and kicked him in the back of the knee, crumpling Vadim to the floor.”

Thirty seven words.  I must have been drinking when I wrote that. I hope I was drinking.

A better way to say the same thing might go something like this:

“Cora weaved under Vadim’s punch, slamming her hand into his chin as he passed by. Now behind him, Cora stomped on the back of Vadim’s knee. He dropped to the floor at her feet.”

The second example is almost as long, but it reads faster and the length of the sequence isn’t as noticeable. Try it with one of your own paragraphs; see if you can kill of the comma fairy.

Don’t feel bad for him, he has it coming.

* I stole the term comma fairy from Julie Butcher, editing ninja and talented writer. You can find her website here.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m utterly unqualified to give advice on writing. It doesn’t stop me trying too mind you, but the qualifications to do so are not present.

To make up for this I try to link to people who are qualified to give you the good oil on writing. Bob Mayer is one of those people. He’s had forty books published, been  a Green Beret, taught writing at multiple university and has a dog named Cool Gus.

Now that’s being qualified to give advice. He current runs the Warrior Writer course and can be found dispensing sage advice and talking about his dog right here.

Fellow writers, it’s time we had a talk. You know what I mean. We need to talk about the connection between writing and getting fat.

Since dedicating myself to getting published I’ve put on five kilos. Almost all of those five kilos can be traced directly to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches eaten at inopportune times.

That, and sitting on my rapidly expanding behind getting no exercise except for typing. Typing does burn a few calories, but not nearly enough to make up for the amount of food I’ve been shovelling in.

Exercise prescription differs from person to person, but rest assured you should be doing something to offset the long hours you’re spending at your desk. Walking’s great, but I heartily recommend that you talk to a doctor (to make sure you’re not going to keel over and die if you go for a run) and then talk to a qualified personal trainer to get a weights program going. We spend so much of our time hunched over keyboards that weight bearing exercise is doubly important for writers to help offset writers hunch.

Weights are also a good way to start looking better naked. Health benefits are great but nothing beats looking in the mirror and seeing something you like.

I’ve recently gotten back into Mixed Martial Arts, but I’m willing to accept that getting punched in the face isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time. Taking up some sort a sport will get you some social time too.

All of this aside, getting some exercise has a direct benefit for your writing. Exercise promotes blood flow to your brain. The more blood flow you get the less likely you are to end up with that cotton wool feeling.

Weight loss is harder for some than for others, but if you work out and eat right, then you’ll look better, feel better and write better.*

What’s not to like?

* Strangely I’m actually more qualified to give fitness advice than writing advice. Still not properly qualified of course. Use this blog with a pinch of salt and an otherwise normaldiet consisting mainly of published authors advice.

I completely failed at getting any writing done this weekend. My family and I went on a short road trip to see my Grandfather. I took my laptop and audio gear with me, but I didn’t do a blessed thing until the last day.

I intended to do some writing, I just didn’t plan too.

I’m one of the chronically disorganized, if I hadn’t had the good fortune to be living with a grown up I would never get anything done at all. I tend to only do things at the last moment or, and this is the thrust of this post, if I carve out a little time just for writing. This weekend I intended to write ‘when I had the chance’ and of course that chance was taken up by eating, driving, napping and listening to my relatives tell stories.

A good time was had, but my book is no closer to completion and as such I am no closer to getting published.

Under normal circumstances I write when I get home from work, I get a couple of clear hours to just tap out whatever I like. It’s become such a routine that I don’t even set it in my diary anymore (yes, I have a diary), but when that routine was interrupted by travel I didn’t plan anything else.

The only reason I’m writing this now is I had planned to start writing several posts each weekend to give me more fiction writing time during the week.

A few people I know, generally those with a lot of free time, can write whenever the mood takes them. If you have a job, or kids, or any kind of regular life rally, you’re going to have to plan. Carve out a little time. It doesn’t have to be hours, but the more time you can spare the better. Everyone has commitments, but if you want to do the writing thing for money you have to treat it the same way you treat any job.  Imagine your boss has a loaded weapon and if you don’t show up on time to write you’re going to get more than a written warning.

I’m not saying you’ll never get your book done if you don’t plan your writing time, but I guarantee it’s going to take longer. My father is a published author, and when he wrote books he locked himself away for weeks at a time. Dad went into a weird sort of writing trance, coming out for dinner and coffee upon occasion. You don’t need to do this, I don’t, and only  a very few people outside of professional writers will have the time. Even if you can only take a half hour a day to write, if you do that every day even the slowest author will have a book at the end of the year.

Plan, write, remember to eat. I’ll be back later in the week with a book review and some more thoughts on the work/life balance.

When you’re going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

There’s a good time coming even if there’s a good time coming. – My Grandfather Dr Hamish Neale. He’s 95 and still going strong.

Do you wanna be a writer?*

Seriously, not just a part timer, or a hobbyist or a bitter malcontent?

Then the thing that’s going to get you there is persistence. Talent helps, so does luck, but you can’t change those things about yourself. The one thing the hard work/luck/talent triangle that you do anything about is the consistency and intensity of your work.

I guarantee you that right now, as you read this, a manuscript that would be this century’s greatest selling novel is moldering a drawer, or sitting on a hard drive, or floating around in someone’s head. It will never be published. It might never even be seen. This isn’t down to the evil of the publishing industry, or a global recession. This novel is going unloved (and unpublished) purely because the author gave up. This world changing piece of work, perhaps the next Harry Potter, just sits there because at some point the person that wrote it (or was going to write it) gave it all up because it was too hard.

I’ve been there.**

Up until recently I struggled to even finish a rough draft. Now that I’m onto a proper first draft and I’m having to fight to finish that too. If I quit, I’ll never know if I’ll be published, be able to quit my day job and write for a living. Not that I’m not having fun, because I’m happier now than I’ve ever been, because for once I’m keeping going. No matter how hard your book gets, don’t quit.

I know you imagined yourself signing books, travelling the country speaking to adoring fans and gathering groupies around you like a rock star. Perhaps you imagined yourself doing a Neil Gaiman and just being awesome all the time.***

Perhaps you will. But if you stop now while you’re an unknown call centre jockey (or student, gas station attendant or whatever) then you’ll never be able to leave your current life behind and get into the life you’ve been dreaming about. Writing is hard. We’re told it all the time by successful authors, but there’s that little bit of us that looks at these mega successful authors and thinks looks alright to me. While we can imagine ourselves having their success, but for some reason it’s so hard to put ourselves in their shoes before they were famous. We imagine that we’re the only ones going through the pain of crafting a novel. That we’re alone at our desk with a blank screen and a rumbling stomach.

You’re not alone, although I suspect the stomach thing is just me.

Keep writing, you still might never be published; you’ll still need some luck and some talent to go with the hard work. But no matter how lucky or how talented you are if you don’t keep writing and working at your writing, YOU WILL NEVER BE PUBLISHED. No groupies for you.

As I said, writing is hard. Keep going. The harder you work the less luck you’ll need and the more talent you’ll uncover.

* I took the swearing out and changed the words around, but I borrowed this line from Dana White, president of the UFC.

** A great many times I’ve been there.

*** You might imagine by this statement that any review I do of Mr Gaiman’s work might be a tad biased. You’d be right too.

I just reviewed Dan Well’s new novel I Am Not A Serial Killer. IIt’s good reading, and I’m looking forward tot he the next in the John Wayne Cleaver series.

You can get the review right here.

I’d bette get back to writing my novel now, still sometimes you need to read.

Tags: recommended reading, review

Do great minds all think alike?

Not in my experience.  In fact some great minds differ so much on any given topic that they come to blows…or at least really snarky blog posts.

It’s this differing of minds and ideas that leads me onto this blog post’s topic: You need to get out more.

I do too. It’s so very easy to get involved in your writing (or any creative endevour) that you hole yourself away from the world. The problem there is that if your only contact with the outside world is through a keyboard you’ll miss out on the experiences that help make your writing rich.

When you’re online it’s easy to get caught up in the hive mind of the internet (not to mention waste four hours on youtube). Communication online is better than it’s ever been, but if you want to write about people interacting face to face, you’re going to need get out there and interact.

You never know what someone’s going to say or do that might make your work just that little bit better. I keep a notebook on me to write down ideas, quotes and bits of description I come up with. Most of it’s bunk, but occasionally I get a gem of a line that I can use.

Now I just have remember to keep a pen on me too and I’ll be golden.

So indulge your inner social person and go and see some friends. Of course, you’re still a writer and you’ll shut yourself away again tomorrow to write, but when you do shut yourself away, make sure it’s not forever.

Tags: advice

Normally I only link directly to posts on other blogs in Twitter, but I Should Be Writing’s Mur Lafferty makes an excellent point about writing and your real life. Click here to get the goodness.

Tags: Links, Pimping

I’ve just put up another book review of Seth Harwood’s Jack Wakes Up. Just click on those funny coloured letters with the line underneath and enjoy!

Tags: recommended reading