Win A Copy Of Irregular Creatures by Chuck Wendig *UPDATED WITH WINNERS*

** Thanks to everyone who entered, I enjoyed your stories of the weird immensely. The winners are…

Arturo J Gomez!

and

Victoria!

Congratulations both, a copy of Irregular Creatures is on its way to your email addresses as soon as I can make it work. To everyone else who entered. I’m sorry I can’t give you free stuff, but watch this space as I’ll have more giveaways in the coming weeks/months. **

I liked Irregular Creatures by Chuck Wendig so much I thought I’d give away a copy here. Chuck himself is an estimable human being (beard and all) and offered a second copy to give away.

So if you’d like to be in to win I want you to tell me about the strangest thing you’ve ever seen. I’ll pick one comment to win at random, and one because it’s my favorite.

If you’re prone to wild embellishments, make them entertaining. Just writing “I saw a vampire LOL” does not count as an entry…and will earn you a special place in hell.

So to kick things off I’ll share one of the weirder things that happened to me doing security work:

“One night while I was still working as a doorman for a nightclub, two women walked by my station out front. It had been a cold night and business had been slow. I was hopefull I was going to get to go home early,  there were leftovers in the fridge with my name on them.

Leftovers in mind I was glad to see the wander by me and head off up the street. I’d already flicked my brain back on to ‘scan’ when the closer of the two ladies stopped moving and turned to look at me. She outweighed me be at least a hundred pounds, so  when I saw the gleam in her eye my brain switched from ‘scan’ to ‘uh-oh’.

She turned to her friend, nodded once then turned around an hitched up her skirt.

Sadly, for her, that day was commando day.

For the next twenty seconds or so she proceeded to waggle her strange, misshapen buttocks at me. Grinding back and forth in some bizarre parody of a dance. She finished this routine and pulled the skirt back down again. She turned back to her friend, and again, nodded once.

Neither of them cracked a smile.

As they wandered off down to the main drag, I wondered if this had actually happened or if I’d been in one too many fights and I’d been the recipient of a startlingly disturbing brain injury. I turned to look through the  window at the other bouncer.

He was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Our few regulars were staring at their drinks like we’d spiked them with LSD.”

It really happened, and try as I might, I can’t resist telling people that story.

So what weird/wonderful/disturbing things have you seen? Let me know in the comments and I’ll draw the free electronic copies of Irregular Creatures in 48 hours. *

*You can read my review of Irregular Creatures here. If you can’t wait and you’d like to buy a copy from Chuck’s website Terrible Minds, you can do so here.

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9 Responses to Win A Copy Of Irregular Creatures by Chuck Wendig *UPDATED WITH WINNERS*

  1. Most bizarre story I’ve been a part of? Here goes:

    A friend and I were filling up at a gas station, we paid for the gas and on our way out to large dudes walk in, very menacing-like. They push my friend aside and pull a gun each from their hoodies. While one of them stays at the door, the other yells at the cashier “Gimme the money!”. By this point, my friend and I have our hands up and we’re kneeling on the ground because everyone had been ordered to by Mr. Door Guy. It’s after the first crook demands the money that the cashier says “Jonas?”. And crook Number One and Door Guy both scream “Tommy!” in unison, and put the guns away. Apparently they’d been friends in middle school, and hadn’t seen each other in decades. Door Guy told us all to get out and that he’d slit our throats in our sleep if anyone croaked. Guess I better sleep with a light on. I hope it was worth it.

  2. AndrewNo Gravatar says:

    Wow…just…damn that’s both terrible and strangely awesome.

  3. alyslinnNo Gravatar says:

    This is weird, but hopefully in a funny way :)

    I was on a David Bowie online forum and started talking to a girl that lived in my city. Eventually we decided to meet up for coffee, and over the course of the coffee date, we found out that she knew my dad. Not only that, but my best friend in elementary school (and 7th grade) who had moved away, had been her best friend from 8th grade onwards.

    It was a strange coincidence. :)

  4. Jami GoldNo Gravatar says:

    Heh. I have one of those “I wish this wasn’t true” stories as well.

    I once got caught in San Fran traffic in the middle of an impromptu Leather Fetish parade. Saw a guy wearing leather chaps. And only leather chaps. Well, maybe there was a g-string in there too, but I tried not to look, quite honestly. :)

    (Some things you wish you could un-see.)

  5. CMStewartNo Gravatar says:

    It was the day after Valentine’s day, early morning, and I thought I’d score some free roses from the dumpster in the alley behind the flower shop. I used to work at the shop, and I knew they threw away their irregular flowers after every big order. So I turned the corner and started down the alley, and right there on top of the overflowing dumpster, someone had crapped in an open flower box. I guess it was a statement on Valentine’s Day. Needless to say, I changed my mind about scoring the roses.

  6. I agree. It was an Inception-type “what the fuck just happened” ordeal.

  7. AldoNo Gravatar says:

    The strangest thing I saw was a guy who fell backwards off of a two story roof with his head landing on aretaining wall. When I got closer I saw that the rebarb had penetrated the back of his head and three feet of tensed exited through his face. Within a few minutes he woke up screaming for someone to take the bar out of head. Paramedics arrived soon after and cut the bar and took him to the hospital. He survived his injuries according to the newspaper.

  8. VictoriaNo Gravatar says:

    You know when you see something from the corner of your eye? Well, I saw it full on for minutes…

    I was cycling in the dark evening on the bike path along a unlit provincial dual carriageway that led back from the local village to the grounds where my family had a cottage. And on the shoulder ahead I saw a little girl standing.

    She couldn’t have been more than six, with hair to her jaw line, her arms curved at her side, her knee length dress moving in the breeze, and she swaying, about to topple over into the road.

    The approach was long enough that I had enough time to see her clearly and to be afraid that something might happen to her, wondering what she was doing there.

    Until all of a sudden, at about 15 metres distance, my brain caught up with my eyes and I realised I hadn’t seen a girl at all. But a metre and a half high sunflower! It was a beautiful specimen with great big leaves on the stalk, swaying in the wind, just like the little girl had.

    I nearly toppled over myself, looking back at the flower as long as I could and wondering how my brain had ever turned it into a little girl. But every time I cycled in the dark, on that stretch, my brain did it again. And for a minute, every time, I saw the little girl, lost and in need, who would turn into the beautiful sunflower.

  9. It’s taken me a long time to think of something for this. My problem is, there’s a lot that I don’t consider that bizarre compared to my life in general, and this things I do find strange are usually more of a passing novelty that I completely forget about the next day. So instead I’m going to tell you about how my sister met her fiancé, and what that has to do with me.

    It actually starts with my (now ex) girlfriend. She’s pretty big in the local BDSM scene. Having more than a passing interest myself, there was a period of time that I was collared under her at the same time that this guy, a virtual stranger to me then, was acting as her slave. As you can imagine, this was a rather intimate way to meet someone for the first time.

    Anyway, with time his arrangement with her was dissolved and I was no longer collared. All of our relationships changed, as they tend to do. At one point, both myself and my girlfriend’s former slave needed to find a new place to live at around the same time, so she suggested the two of us find a place together and share the costs. We figured, why not? and eventually found a decent little two-bedroom.

    Not long after moving in, my sister comes to visit, and of course I introduce her to my room mate. Well. When I say they hit it off, I mean they really hit it off. Six months later they were talking engagement, and now they’re getting married this summer. The upshot of all this is that I can say my sister is marrying my ex-girlfriend’s ex-slave boy, and that I actually approve of the match.

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