** Thanks to everyone who entered, I enjoyed your stories of the weird immensely. The winners are…
Arturo J Gomez!
Congratulations both, a copy of Irregular Creatures is on its way to your email addresses as soon as I can make it work. To everyone else who entered. I’m sorry I can’t give you free stuff, but watch this space as I’ll have more giveaways in the coming weeks/months. **
So if you’d like to be in to win I want you to tell me about the strangest thing you’ve ever seen. I’ll pick one comment to win at random, and one because it’s my favorite.
If you’re prone to wild embellishments, make them entertaining. Just writing “I saw a vampire LOL” does not count as an entry…and will earn you a special place in hell.
So to kick things off I’ll share one of the weirder things that happened to me doing security work:
“One night while I was still working as a doorman for a nightclub, two women walked by my station out front. It had been a cold night and business had been slow. I was hopefull I was going to get to go home early, there were leftovers in the fridge with my name on them.
Leftovers in mind I was glad to see the wander by me and head off up the street. I’d already flicked my brain back on to ‘scan’ when the closer of the two ladies stopped moving and turned to look at me. She outweighed me be at least a hundred pounds, so when I saw the gleam in her eye my brain switched from ‘scan’ to ‘uh-oh’.
She turned to her friend, nodded once then turned around an hitched up her skirt.
Sadly, for her, that day was commando day.
For the next twenty seconds or so she proceeded to waggle her strange, misshapen buttocks at me. Grinding back and forth in some bizarre parody of a dance. She finished this routine and pulled the skirt back down again. She turned back to her friend, and again, nodded once.
Neither of them cracked a smile.
As they wandered off down to the main drag, I wondered if this had actually happened or if I’d been in one too many fights and I’d been the recipient of a startlingly disturbing brain injury. I turned to look through the window at the other bouncer.
He was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Our few regulars were staring at their drinks like we’d spiked them with LSD.”
It really happened, and try as I might, I can’t resist telling people that story.
So what weird/wonderful/disturbing things have you seen? Let me know in the comments and I’ll draw the free electronic copies of Irregular Creatures in 48 hours. *