This started as a bad idea and rapidly got worse. Behold, a song inspired by HP Lovecraft and sung to the tune of Milkshakes by Kelis. Special thanks to Elaine Corvidae for the idea to us “Ia” instead of “La”.

Old Ones

[Repeat x2]

My Old Ones bring all the cults to the yard

And their knives

Are better than yours,

Damn right they’re better than yours,

I can gut you,

Then I’ll eat your heart.

I know they want it

The things that stalk me,

What the cults go crazy for.

They lose their minds,

The stars are right

I think its time

[Chorus x2]

Ia ia-ia ia ia,

Cut them up

Ia ia-ia ia ia,

The gods are waiting

My Old Ones bring all the cults to the yard

And their knives

Are better than yours,

Damn right they’re better than yours,

I can gut you,

Then I’ll eat your heart.

I can see you’re dying

You want me to teach thee

The spells that freak these gods

That live undergound

Just know if you call it up

You got to put it down

[Chorus x2]

Ia ia-ia ia ia,

Cut them up

Ia ia-ia ia ia,

The gods are waiting,

My Old Ones bring all the cults to the yard

And their knives

Are better than yours,

Damn right they’re better than yours,

I can gut you,

Then I’ll eat your heart.

Oh, once they’re invited in

The gods will always stay

You must maintain the charms,

Same time maintain the blood-flow

Just get the virgin heart

And the veils shall part

Their high priest’s a squid

Who lives in your head

[Chorus x2]

Ia ia-ia ia ia,

Cut them up

Ia ia-ia ia ia,

The gods are waiting

My Old Ones bring all the cults to the yard

And their knives

Are better than yours,

Damn right they’re better than yours,

I can gut you,

Then I’ll eat your heart.

Even to reach this I’ve had to count everything I;ve written this month, including the words I’ve deleted.

It still counts.

Quick Tip:

Stuck for story idas? Look through the Google search terms people used to find your blog. My favorite so far is “freaky mace games.” If that was you, why?

You also inspired a short story, thanks.

But really, mace games?